Caroline is a friend and someone I admire hugely - yoga teacher, mother to two beautiful children and super stylish, I think you'll find her as inspiring as I do.
What do you
do for work?
I teach an Ashtanga Yoga Mysore programme in Bristol.
Ashtanga is a daily practice, ideally done in the morning, so I get up around
3.45am Monday to Friday to do my own yoga practice before teaching 6.30-10am.
What's your
home set up - where do you live and with whom, how many children do you have?
We live in Bristol. My husband is a marine biologist – a
senior lecturer at the University of Exeter. We have two children, 7 and 4.
How do you
manage childcare? Has this changed over the years with experience/changing
circumstances?
It’s constantly changing. We made the decision for me to
stay at home for the first few years, which was the right choice at the time,
but I soon missed India. Going back to study at KPJAYI (www.kpjayi.org) didn’t
seem like a choice, it was something I knew I had to do, even though the
logistics of travelling there year after year with young children were
challenging.
After I’d been practicing Ashtanga for about six years
friends started asking me to teach them, so I agreed to start a small class at
my home. Seven years after my initial trip to Mysore I was Authorised to teach.
As soon as I was listed on the official Ashtanga website everything
went a little crazy. As the only Authorised teacher in Bristol, I started
getting new enquiries every week, my students would tell their friends, my
classes kept growing. At one stage I had students spilling out of the yoga room
and practicing in the kitchen! I quickly went from teaching four students
weekly to 40+. Renting a space, setting up a website, making the necessary business
decisions that go along with that, it was a little overwhelming. And of course,
figuring out childcare.
Our basic set up is that my husband is in charge of the
children in the morning, gets them to school and preschool, then I do both
pick-ups and the rest of the day. If we are very lucky he might be back home
for dinner, but he often works late and we prioritise family time at the
weekends.
I’m very conscious of setting up the programme in a long-term,
sustainable way. My own practice and continuing study is a priority, as is my
family. I have four assistants, two of whom teach a weekly session, and they
can cover me during school holidays or if anything unexpected comes up with the
children. They are, as my son would say, totally awesome.
What have
you learnt about childcare and work from doing it this way - for instance do
you have any tips about having au pairs, interviewing nannies or choosing a
nursery - or how to manage without?
Learning to ask for help is a skill. It’s something I’ve
been very poor at, historically, but I’m getting better. My mum comes to stay
as often as she can – I see her and the children getting so much out of their
developing relationship. I also have an amazing network of local friends who
all help each other out - playdates, shared pickups and sleepovers all help the
children grow in social skills and confidence as they experience different
households and develop their own friendships. We also have an ad-hoc child-minder
who covers anything we can’t manage within family and friends – although she is
also a friend, who loves hanging out with our children. It’s a win for everyone.
My main tip for working parents is to get a cleaner. The
last thing either of us wants to do in downtime is clean the house, but
actually living in a nice environment is crucial for my sanity. It’s a
peculiarly British quirk, not to outsource cleaning when you’d happily pay a
mechanic or a plumber, but it’s made the biggest difference to our quality of
life.
What's the
hardest thing about combining work and parenthood? Any real low points that you
can share?
Tiredness. Being physically and emotionally exhausted way
before the children’s bedtime is really hard. When my husband is away, or back
late, I make sure we eat an early dinner, run a bath, read stories in bed and
get an early night. I have no shame in going to bed early. Even if I don’t sleep
straight away I read for a while and appreciate the time to relax. Rest makes
everything better.
And what
about the best bits - what makes it all worthwhile, and keeps you going at the
end of a long day (or week, or month...)?
I love my job. I don’t really class it as work. Teaching
Ashtanga, passing on the method just as it has been taught to me…. It’s what I
am supposed to be doing. It feels
right. And although the hours are outside the social norms it’s actually really
family friendly – I’ll be able to collect my children from school for their entire
childhood and be there for that afternoon ‘download’ time.
Seeing new students fall in love with the practice is
pretty special. When a student overcomes an obstacle, manages to do something
for the first time – there’s nothing like that feeling. I live it along with
them and have been there myself (many times over). It’s a tiny miracle, when
the impossible becomes possible, and you are giving yourself the chance of
creating that miracle every single day.
What
products, brands, items of clothing or other essentials couldn't you manage
without - what are your Working/Life Heroes?
Elizabeth Arden 8-hour cream. Is there anything this can’t
fix? I use it as lip balm before heading out into the cold morning.
A warm hat. It’s really important to cover your head after
practice to prevent loosing heat too quickly. My kids bought me one with a
massive bobble for my birthday. I totally love it!
Kindle. Essential downtime. How else can you carry around
100s of books in your handbag? Perfect escapism with a cup of tea.
How do you
maintain energy and cope with the demands of your life? What tips or tricks
have you evolved to do so?
The main one is to eat really, really well. I have a terrible
avocado and kale habit. Stay well hydrated with lemon water or herbal teas so
your body has the best chance of recovery at all times.
How do you
relax?
Is it too obvious to say yoga? Ashtanga doesn’t have a
reputation as a relaxing practice, and for good reason. It is physically
demanding and has challenged me to go beyond my limits on a daily basis.
Ashtanga works - not because it is relaxing, but because we are learning how to
relax in difficult and sometimes frightening situations. This translates into
everyday life – through daily practice we are more able to stay calm in stressful
times because we’ve practiced doing it, over and over.
What's on
your:
Bedside
table
Kindle
Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream
Hand cream
Water
Most of the This Works ‘deep sleep’ range
Sky plus
Mainly kids films. I can’t be the only working mother to
utilize the Pixar babysitter in order to get my tax return in on time?!
Amazon wish
list
Nothing. I buy books all the time and get through them at
a rate of knots.
Most used
apps
Sleep cycle. I am verging on obsessed with this app. It
has a sensor that wakes you up in a period of light sleep within your chosen 30
minute window – the theory is you are almost awake anyway at that point, so the
wake-up process is not nearly as harsh as an alarm dragging you out of very
deep sleep. It makes my pre-dawn start way more manageable. It also gives you a
graph of your sleep pattern and a percentage ‘sleep quality’ for each night. Total
sleep geek-out.
In your
handbag?
Bobble hat, wrist warmers, gloves. Eight-hour cream. iPhone.
Kindle. Sunglasses. Shala keys, house keys, car keys. I don’t carry anything
around that I don’t need and clear out stuff like receipts or empty raisin
boxes at the earliest opportunity.
Any final
advice for fellow Dualistas?
Lead with your heart. If I’m ever unsure I try to just listen, usually the
answer is there already. Being truly honest with yourself always gives you
strength. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, or what anyone else
thinks. It’s YOUR life. You have to do what makes your heart sing.
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