How They Make It Work - Jenn Ashworth

I'm very pleased to introduce you to Jenn Ashworth. Jenn is a critically acclaimed, award-winning novelist (and a very modest one) who also lectures in the subject at Lancaster University. She holds a doctorate, she's a hugely innovative writer and she is constantly developing new projects that push the boundaries of what fiction and creative writing can encompass. Anyhow, enough fan-girling from me, here's how Jenn Makes It Work...

Photo by Martin Figura

What do you do for work?

I'm a novelist and short story writer, I set up and help run a small publishing collective (it's brilliant and it's called Curious Tales, check it out...), I lecture in Creative Writing (see Jenn's academic profile here) , I mentor, edit and run freelance writing workshops and writer development programmes. 

What's your home set up - where do you live and with whom, how many children do you have?

I live in Preston, where I grew up, and about 30 miles away from the University campus, which means a bit of a commute a couple of times a week. I have two children - a ten year old girl and a four year old boy, and we all live with my partner, who is, at the moment, a stay at home dad. I don't have an office at home, but I have a tiny desk jammed into the corner of my bedroom, and a bigger office on campus at Lancaster. I work from home as much as I can, but it is useful to have that private space elsewhere available if I need it. And I keep all my books and boxes of papers there, which makes home feel more like a home and less like a very tattered and badly curated library. 

How do you manage childcare? Has this changed over the years with experience/changing circumstances?

I moved in with my partner when my daughter was four, so for her pre-school years, while I was studying for my MA and writing my first novel, I relied on my mum and my daughter's father to take care of her a day or two a week so I could work. I also got used to working in short bursts, while she napped, and at night, while she slept. I have a big, complicated family - my daughter's father and step-mother are very involved - so we take turns with the kids at weekends, during the holidays, doing the school run, etc. It involves a lot of diary juggling and it isn't always easy, but it is what is best for my daughter, we've always been consistent about that and it allows us a lot of flexibility.

What have you learnt about childcare and work from doing it this way - for instance do you have any tips about having au pairs, interviewing nannies or choosing a nursery - or how to manage without?

We've had childminders and used nurseries in the past and it's always been a good-enough experience. I sent my son to an Ofted rated 'outstanding' nursery which he hated, and after two months there some of the staff still didn't know his name. I pulled him out and sent him to a lower rated nursery which he loved, and was very sad to leave to go to school. That taught me to trust my own judgement, and to be led by what my child preferred and needed, rather than trusting in some outward, very flawed system of validation. We've never had an au pair or a nanny - to be honest, I don't think I'd want one. I can't imagine what it would be like having a stranger in the house when I was trying to read. The single thing that has made my working life possible is having a partner who wants to be, and is very good at being, a stay at home dad. It's skilled, difficult and demanding work and he is very very good at it. 

What's the hardest thing about combining work and parenthood? Any real low points that you can share?

The hardest thing, for me, has been the logistical element - if I get offered some work that involves being away for a week or so, it involves a diary meeting with the other three parents. That can be tricky, and humans being humans, means that the planning isn't always seamless. But it is worth it, and it has trained me in project management and work planning skills that I use in all other elements of my career. I am a fearsome list maker and diary keeper because I have to be. I guess the lowest point I can remember was being called up while I was teaching an Arvon course (a week long residential writing course) to be told my daughter had been taken to hospital with a bad asthma attack. Usually her dad would have handled this, but at the time he was in the same hospital having chemotherapy. It took a little juggling but the nurses moved dad and his IV to my little girl's bedside, and both step parents had it covered. Although Arvon were fantastic and offered to drive me to the train station, I decided to carry on with the teaching I had committed to do, and shed a tear or two in the evening, once the crisis was over.

And what about the best bits - what makes it all worthwhile, and keeps you going at the end of a long day (or week, or month...)?

Low points like that are rare - most of the time what I really value about my work is its flexibility. I hardly ever miss nativities and school plays and parents' evenings, I can be around for either the morning or the afternoon school run most days in the week, and although I do work away a few weeks in the year, that allows us to take some proper time off over the summer and Christmas holidays without worrying too much about lost income or getting behind on my projects. I suppose what keeps me going is how incredibly lucky I am. I love my work, I love the people I work with, I find it interesting and stimulating and challenging. I love it that I can work from home most of the time, I love it that I can do the school run, and I love the chance to get away from home for a week or so a few times a year and travel a bit. I'm really proud that my son and daughter see ambition and hard work in a female role model, and nurturing and caring and domestic work in a male role model. I think that gives them lots of options for how they want to structure their own lives when they grow up.

Jenn at university

What products, brands, items of clothing or other essentials couldn't you manage without - what are your Working/Life Heroes?

My car - it's just a battered old Nissan Micra, but it is my own, I can jump in it and go anywhere, it's a mobile office, a little sanctuary where I sit and take time out during the working day if I am on campus, and allows me and my family a lot of independence. I know it's a luxury to run two cars, but it makes the logistical nightmare that life can be sometimes much more possible. And my diary. I write EVERYTHING down - every half hour of most days is accounted for. I don't have an electronic version of this - the act of writing something down means it is in my head. I have it open on my desk all day, and on my bedside table all night. I feel lost without it. It's a bright yellow moleskine. Clothing wise, I have a big brown cardigan with a zip up the front which I wear when I am writing. It feels like a little hug. And it was a present to replace a tattered big brown cardigan with a zip up the front that lasted ten years in the same role before giving up the ghost. It isn't pretty or glamorous, but it is essential. 

How do you maintain energy and cope with the demands of your life? What tips or tricks have you evolved to do so?

I multi-task, constantly. I make sure I account for every half hour of time - so I always know what I am supposed to be doing and don't have to think about it. I suffer from insomnia and I have worked really really hard to get on top of that - no caffeine except for a single cup of black tea in the morning, and swimming or the gym as often as I can. A lot of writers have back and posture problems and I'm just starting to see the effects of a life spent hunched over a laptop, so I am working on some steps to improve my strength and flexibility, with the reasoning that I can't write and run my life at the pace I do if I am in low-level pain much of the time. I think a lot of time can be wasted on pointless and easily avoidable drama, so to avoid this, I meditate, on and off, which keeps my frantic mind healthy, and a few years ago I made a promise to myself never to work with or spend time with people who treat me badly. And I never ever do. Call it radical self respect, if you like. It makes such a difference.

How do you relax?

Not as much as I should do, I expect. I love to read big fat absorbing novels in genres that I don't write myself - something entirely different. I like horror novels and films. I watch trashy telly on Netflix. I do origami with my daughter, I crochet and I'm developing an unhealthy obsession with spirograph. I find these things relaxing. I love to get out in the lakes and in the Forest of Bowland and walk, and I've been taking boxing lessons - after an hour and a half of boxing training and pad work I feel amazing.

What's on your:

Bedside table

Two empty mugs, a teaspoon, my yellow moleskine diary, a red Parker fountain pen, a black moleskine notebook, my kindle, books - B.S Johnson's Trawl, John Grindrod's Concretopia, Ted Hughes' Tales From Ovid, some Body Shop Hemp hand cream, Clarin's Blue Orchid face oil, nail file, ear plugs, a bulldog clip and some origami paper. 

Sky plus

We haven't got one of these. Well, we might do. There are some boxes under our television but I have no idea what they are or what they do. Not my area, sadly. 

Amazon wish list

Some books about interactive fiction and gaming, that I'll probably end up ordering from the library, a load of novels about boxing, a black 1950s style Lindy Bop dress, a Karlsson Flap Clock and a huge poster print of the original cover of The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. Muriel Spark is one of my favourite writers.

Most used apps

I don't really use a mobile phone - I have one for emergencies, but I don't like being tethered. I would not be able to get along without Dropbox though - it makes working between home and the office, my car, on trains and wherever else I happen to end up entirely possible.

In your handbag?

Notebooks, books, pens - hundreds of them - umbrella, handkerchiefs, my laptop, hand cream, mints and chewing gum, nuts, keys, more pens, kirby grips, a hair-clip in the shape of a christmas tree, pain killers, some bits of paper to do with my tax return I should have dealt with yesterday and didn't, herbal tea-bags, fluff, whiteboard markers, paper clips, bulldog clips.

Any final advice for fellow Dualistas?

Give yourself a break. I see women get wound up in trying to intervene in every single aspect of their children's lives. Let them be bored, let them have a private life, and let the other parent(s) take some responsibility. I have no idea what size shoes my children wear and that's because I trust their dads to deal with that side of things. And they do. Don't get too worked up about the details. Forgive yourself. So long as everyone is fed, gets washed now and again, gets read to and knows that they are loved, everything else is a bonus. Don't settle down with someone who thinks, even secretly, a tiny bit, deep down, that some kinds of work are for men, and some aren't.